One-Timer

Thou Shalt Not Choke

2008-02-27T14:02:00.000-08:00

The big news today is that the Ottawa Senators have sacked head coach John Paddock and assistant Ron Low. The Sens have lost 14 of 18 games and that's just not going to cut it. They usually do their loosin' when it counts (in the playoffs), and not a moment sooner. With 18 games left in the regular season, Bryan Murray will descend from his GM perch into the vacant head coach position. As hockey connoisseurs like to say, he's pulling a Lou.

[via Reuters]

And So It Begins...

2008-02-25T13:42:00.000-08:00

TSN is reporting that Peter Forsberg has signed a deal with the Colorado Avalanche for the remainder of the season. This news comes out of left field since Forsberg's agent was letting teams know last week that his client would not be coming back. Said Forsberg:

Over the last several months, I have worked extremely hard in order for this to be possible. I am looking forward to putting this jersey on again. I have so many great memories of my playing days in Denver. I'm excited about helping my new teammates and former teammates in the coming weeks, and hopefully I am able to do that in the very near future.

Forsberg is expected to join the Avs in the coming days and be put on injured reserve for the remainder of the regular season and playoffs by early next week.

[via TSN]

Mats Sundin Is Not A Fan Of Waiving

2008-02-23T10:56:00.000-08:00

Mats Sundin won't be waiving his no-trade clause this season. Said Sundin,

I have to do what feels right in my heart. I just don't think I can go to another team if I don't want to play for another team. That wouldn't be right to myself. That's how I feel right now.

On the one hand, Sundin doesn't want to play for another team. On the other hand, most Leafs fans don't want Sundin to play for their team. Expect a quiet summer in Toronto.

[via TSN]

Zonk! Pow! Bop!

2008-02-22T09:40:00.000-08:00

How hard is it to find a competent acting coach in Los Angeles? Pretty hard, if you're the LA Kings. Look at the YouTube (thanks for the meme, Hillary) and try not to laugh.

[via Deadspin]

We Don't Have No Stinkin' Biases

2008-02-21T07:49:00.000-08:00

Some people like to accuse TSN (The Sports Network, aka Canada's ESPN) of being a tad bit Toronto-centric in its coverage. Others go as far as calling it the Toronto Sports Network. It's hard to argue with that when things like this pop up on TSN's web site.

In yesterday's Hockeynation poll, TSN asked its readers the following question:

Which player, other than Mats Sundin, would be your #1 trade target?

Dan Boyle, TB (4%)
Brian Campbell, BUF (10%)
Marian Hossa, ATL (34%)
Olli Jokinen, FLA (25%)
Brad Richards, TB (22%)
Alex Tanguay, CGY (4%)

Other than Mats Sundin?

Rumor has it that TSN is considering some of these for next week's Hockeynation poll.

Which team, other than the Maple Leafs, made the best trade deadline deal?
Other than Darcy Tucker, who is the biggest pest in the NHL?
Other than Vesa Toskala, who is the most underrated goalie in the league?
Which team, other than the Maple Leafs, has the best shot of winning the cup next year?

Let's Pretend To Make A Deal

2008-02-20T14:24:00.000-08:00

The NHL GM winter meetings are over and it's safe to say the whole thing was a bigger tease than that Natalie Portman-Scarlett Johansson movie. There were no major trades to report, with Jaroslav Modry being the biggest name that changed addresses.

One thing's always cool about these meetings. Well, two, if you count the ever-present possibility of a Kevin Lowe-Brian Burke brawl. In all seriousness, it's always fun to see what funny proposed rule changes emerge from these meetings. Here's the rundown on what the general managers came up with:

One minute penalties during regular season overtime periods: There are two schools of thought on this one. 1: Considering that regular season OT only lasts five minutes, a one minute penalty seems more fair than two minutes for an infraction. 2: If players are stupid enough to take a penalty during four on four OT, they deserve to stew in the box for the full two minutes. I'd agree with the second point. The NHL will ask the AHL to test the proposal next year, before making a decision for 09-10. Who needs market research when the AHL serves as your own personal test market?
Offensive zone faceoffs after a penalty, no matter where the puck is when play is stopped: Most GMs supported this one. The AHL currently has the rule in place and it could be implemented as early as next season in the NHL. Seems fair.
Pushing the start of free agency to July 7 instead of July 1. By golly, all those national holidays take the focus off of the NHL. We need people paying attention to hockey in July! Somehow, I don't really think that's a problem for Canadians. Most Canadians would rather watch whatever free agency special TSN cooks up than have to sit through Sam Roberts on the CBC, for the 10th straight year.
The GMs were split on an 84-game schedule: If Sydney Crosby is your number one draw, it makes so much sense for him to only visit certain cities once every four years. Would anyone really care if Carolina played Atlanta seven times instead of eight?
Them goalies be cheatin': The GMs are serious about tackling the issue of goalie equipment. They mean it this time. Even more than last time.

So that's about it for another exciting year of winter meetings.

Rookies Are Such Easy Targets

2008-02-19T10:15:00.000-08:00

Dallas Stars goalie Marty Turco decided to have a little fun at the expense of team rookie Matt Niskanen. Niskanen, it turns out, drives a Pontiac Sunfire. Obviously, driving that kind of car brings a certain amount of shame to the NHL brotherhood, which is why Turco took it upon himself to have his rookie teammate's car modified or "pimped," as the kids say these days.

What happened to the good old hazing tradition of shaving a rookie's pubes?

Forsberg Not Coming Back

2008-02-18T12:20:00.000-08:00

Peter Forsberg's agent, Don Baizley, has started the process of informing teams that his client won't be coming back to the NHL this season. Forsberg apparently doesn't feel confident that his foot can hold up. According to TSN:

"The prospect of Peter having enough confidence in the foot-skate issue to commit to being able to play in the NHL this season isn't where it needs to be at this moment," Baizley told TSN. "As a result, teams are being told it is unlikely he will be able to commit to return to the NHL this season."

Sasly, no word on how Forsberg's foot injury will affect his ability to model and hawk Crocs in his native Sweden.

Brian Burke Is All Man

2008-02-18T09:07:00.000-08:00

Reading up on various NHL GM's last night, for the Know Your NHL GM game, helped uncover a funny little nugget of information. It turns out that Anaheim GM Brian Burke's middle name is

Marilyn

Marilyn

Marilyn

That had to be a rough childhood, although it might explain why he's in such a bad mood all the time.

Forsberg Decides To Make A Decision Tomorrow

2008-02-18T08:48:00.000-08:00

Flyers GM Paul Holmgren expects Peter Forsberg to make a decision on his playing future tomorrow. Adding Forsberg would be a coup for any team looking to get a boost before the playoffs, without giving anything in return. Well, except for the obvious frustration when Foppa ends up missing what's left of the regular season. Philly and Colorado are rumored to be the most serious contenders for Forberg's services. Chicago also has a chance, apparently.

Lindros Flying High

2008-02-18T07:47:00.000-08:00

Having recently retired, Eric Lindros is about to experience one of the honors that typically come a hall of famer's way: the sweater lynching.

Bob Clarke has not officially gone mad. There's no chance of seeing a number 88 in the Wachovia Center rafters anytime soon. Instead, the Oshawa Generals, the Big E's junior team, is retiring his number on March 6. Per durhamregion.com:

The club announced on Saturday that former superstar Eric Lindros will have his famous No. 88 retired by the club in a ceremony prior to their game that night against the Mississauga St. Michael’s Majors.

Lindros will join the late Red Tilson, and his No. 9, as the only other person to have been honoured as such by the Generals.

Special precautions are being taken to make sure number 88 doesn't get dizzy up there.

Are The Blackhawks Getting Played?

2008-02-17T18:08:00.000-08:00

Word out of Chicago is that the Blackhawks have made an offer to Peter Forsberg and that the Swede is reportedly interested.

Tallon said he's still waiting to hear from free agent Peter Forsberg, who's expected to decide soon whether to return to the NHL and with which team. The Hawks are believed to have made the veteran center an offer for the rest of this season and the next two, which reportedly interests Forsberg.

The Blackhawks? Really? Wasn't Forsberg interested in Stanley Cup contenders? This might be a ploy by the Forsberg camp to up the ante for any potential offer from serious contenders. On the bright side, it looks like Bill Wirtz really is dead. This would never have happened under his dictatorship.

Richard Zednik Is Lucky In More Ways Than One

2008-02-17T16:34:00.000-08:00

That's Richard Zednik, he of the severed carotid artery, up and ready to leave Buffalo. And that's his wife in the middle. Wouldn't you like to have her caring for your every need during your recovery? Her name is Jessica Welch and she's an actress.

EDIT: Since a lot of people seem to be curious about Jessica Welch, here's one more photo to get those hormones going (I believe she's the one on the left).

Know Your NHL GM

2008-02-17T15:45:00.000-08:00

With the trade deadline rapidly approaching, it would be a good idea for sports fans to get better acquainted with their favorite team's general manager. And by "better acquainted," I mean being able to pick him or her (not bloody likely) out of a police lineup. Here are your 30 NHL general managers with mugshot goodness, courtesy of TSN. (click the pic for a larger version)

Note: This activity can easily be adapted into a Guess Who? version and/or a drinking game.

The answers:

First row (starting left)
Doug Risebrough (Minnesota Wild)
Don Waddell (Atlanta Thrashers)
Jim Rutherford (Carolina Hurricanes)
David Poile (Nashville Predators)
Lou Lamoriello (New Jersey Devils)
Brian Burke (Anaheim Ducks)
Ray Shero (Pittsburgh Penguins)
Darcy Regier (Buffalo Sabres)
Bob Gainey (Montreal Canadiens)
Kevin Lowe (Edmonton Oilers)

Second row (starting left)
Don Maloney (Phoenix Coyotes)
Paul Holmgren (Philadelphia Flyers)
Peter Chiarelli (Boston Bruins)
Brett Hull (Dallas Stars)
Ken Holland (Detroit Red Wings)
Darryl Sutter (Clagary Flames)
Jay Feaster (Tampa Bay Lightning)
Doug Wilson (San Jose Sharks)
Dave Nonis (Vancouver Canucks)
Cliff Fletcher (Toronto Maple Leafs)

Third row (starting right, just to mess with you)
Dean Lombardi (Los Angeles Kings)
Jacques Martin (Florida Panthers)
Garth Snow (New York Islanders)
Scott Howson (Columbus Blue Jackets)
Bryan Murray (Ottawa Senators)
Dave Tallon (Chicago Blackhaws)
Larry Pleau (St. Louis Blues)
Francois Giguere (Colorado Avalanche)
George McPhee (Washington Capitals)
Glenn Sather (New York Rangers)

The Sweetest Tripping Penalty Ever

2007-12-08T12:07:00.000-08:00

Marian Gaborik learns the hard way that keeping your head down on a breakaway might not be the best idea.

Brian Burke Won't Stand For Mediocrity

2007-11-16T08:41:00.000-08:00

In somewhat surprising news, TSN reports that the Ducks have placed stellar backup goalie Ilya Bryzgalov on waivers. Bryzgalov won't stay available for long as a number of teams have goaltending issues. Bryzgalov doesn't have much choice in the matter and he might wind up playing for a Canadian team like the Oilers or Leafs, despite his feelings on the Great White North.

This move is likely an attempt by Burke to dump salary, which signals the possible return of Scott Niedermayer and/or Teemu Selanne. Burke has been rumored to be shopping Bryzgalov for a few months now with nobody willing to meet his asking price. Brian Burke isn't one to make panic moves so this latest development most likely means that another big move by the Ducks is on the horizon. Besides, Niedermayer has been conspicuously silent these past few days. The hockey world has missed his non-committal news conferences.

Another Brilliant Move By The NHL

2007-11-13T20:24:00.000-08:00

It was announced today that NHL commissioner Gary Bettman plans to host a weekly one-hour call-in show on XM Satellite Radio. Yep, the Gary Bettman will be taking your questions every week for an hour, or less, depending on the annoyance of callers. I give it two shows before the people in charge of fielding (and screening) calls blow their brains out and the call-in portion of the show is reduced to a minute.

The NHL Hour will air on Thursdays, from 4 to 5 p.m., on XM channel 204, starting on November 27.

Bill Clement will co-host. Rumor has it he was selected for his ability to hang up calls in record time.

Senior vice-president of hockey operations Colin Campbell and Deputy NHL commissioner Bill Daly will host the shows on weeks that Bettman is unavailable.

The call-in phone number is 1-877-645-6696.

The Hall Of Fame Opens Its Doors Tonight

2007-11-12T13:32:00.000-08:00

Tonight, the Hockey Hall of Fame welcomes its class of 2008 and what a class it is as Mark Messier, Ron Francis, Al MacInnis and Scott Stevens take their rightful place in hockey history. NHL executive Jim Gregory will also be enshrined, in the builder's category. There's not much to say that hasn't been said yet about the four player inductees, so I'll let these video tributes remind you of the exploits of four legends of the game.

Mark Messier

Ron Francis

Scott Stevens

Al MacInnis

Jeremy Roenick Gets His 500th

2007-11-11T17:52:00.000-08:00

Jeremy Roenick notched the 500th goal of his career last night in a 4-1 Sharks win over the Coyotes. JR Superstar has always been an unusual cat compared to most professional hockey players and his milestone goal fits him to a tee. Goalie Alex Auld probably deserves some sort of assist on the goal.

Roenick becomes the 40th member of the 500 goal club and its third American-born player.

The crowd even hung around for a nice post-game celebration that saw JR take a few victory laps around the ice with his son Brett and give an emotional speech that everyone was listening to carefully, except Patrick Roy who now has four Stanley Cup rings plugging his ears.

The Sabres Invite More Of You To Freeze To Death

2007-11-10T23:11:00.000-08:00

When the Amp Energy NHL Winter Classic sold out in record time, many fans were left empty-handed. Thankfully, there's some good news for the disappointed fans who couldn't secure tickets for the outdoor game. The Sabres have announced plans to hold a special drawing for 4,500 additional seats. Fans who's names are drawn will get the opportunity to purchase between two and four tickets for the game at $10 a ticket. That's not all as the seats being offered up are located in the first 15 rows of Ralph Wilson Stadium. That's $10 for ice-level seats. So what's the catch?

"Catches" would be more appropriate.

The 4,500 tickets are for "obstructed-view" seats, meaning that fans lucky enough to sit in them won't necessarily get a clear view of the game. According to Larry Quinn, Sabres Managing Partner, "you'll be able to see the players if you're up in row 10. You'll see parts of the ice but the lower you go the dasher boards will obstruct your view of the ice surface but not of the game. You'll see the players." Of course, the puck mostly stays on the ice so unless Versus breaks out some sort of extreme Glowing Puck 2.0, you won't be seeing rubber from those seats. But hey, obstructed-view seats might not be so bad with the way the Sabres are playing this season.

That's not all. Remember when I mentioned that fans were allowed to buy between two and four tickets? Well, one of those tickets has to be for a person who's 16 or younger, so if some creepy dude from Buffalo starts messaging your kid on MySpace in the next few days, there is a small chance he might not be a pedophile.

To get in on the drawing, hockey fans, or interested scalpers, need to head over to this link. Registration lasts until Friday, November 16 at 5:00 p.m. ET.

How Much Is Your Favorite NHL Team Worth?

2007-11-09T08:28:00.000-08:00

Forbes released its annual NHL team valuation list and it seems the Maple Leafs lead the league in something other than consecutive non-championship seasons. Forbes estimates the Leafs are worth $413 million. The Rangers and Red Wings follow with $365 million and $293 million respectively. Bringing up the rear are the lowly Nashville Predators at $143 million.

Here's the complete list:

#1 Toronto Maple Leafs: Team Value: $413 mil
#2 New York Rangers: Team Value: $365 mil
#3 Detroit Red Wings: Team Value: $293 mil
#4 Montreal Canadiens: Team Value: $283 mil
#5 Dallas Stars: Team Value: $254 mil
#6 Philadelphia Flyers: Team Value: $244 mil
#7 Boston Bruins: Team Value: $243 mil
#8 Colorado Avalanche: Team Value: $214 mil
#9 Vancouver Canucks: Team Value: $211 mil
#10 Los Angeles Kings: Team Value: $209 mil
#11 Tampa Bay Lightning: Team Value: $199 mil
#12 Anaheim Ducks: Team Value: $197 mil
#13 New Jersey Devils: Team Value: $195 mil
#14 Ottawa Senators: Team Value: $186 mil
#15 Minnesota Wild: Team Value: $180 mil
#16 Chicago Blackhawks: Team Value: $179 mil
#17 San Jose Sharks: Team Value: $165 mil
#18 Calgary Flames: Team Value: $164 mil
#19 Buffalo Sabres: Team Value: $162 mil
#20 Edmonton Oilers: Team Value: $157 mil
#21 Carolina Hurricanes: Team Value: $156 mil
#22 Pittsburgh Penguins: Team Value: $155 mil
#23 Florida Panthers: Team Value: $151 mil
#24 Columbus Blue Jackets: Team Value: $150 mil
#25 New York Islanders: Team Value: $149 mil
#26 Atlanta Thrashers: Team Value: $148 mil
#27 Phoenix Coyotes: Team Value: $147 mil
#28 Washington Capitals: Team Value: $145 mil
#29 St Louis Blues: Team Value: $144 mil
#30 Nashville Predators: Team Value: $143 mil

For a more detailed list, head over to Forbes.

Bobby Clarke Still Doing The Opposite After All These Years

2007-11-08T20:58:00.000-08:00

With Eric Lindros retiring, everyone seems to feel the need to weigh in on whether or not he belongs in the Hockey Hall of Fame. TSN gathered its hockey experts (at playing the game and not managing teams, obviously) for a spirited discussion on the merits of the Lindros case and what a vortex of GM suck that panel is. Surprisingly, Bobby Clarke believes that Eric Lindros deserves to be in the Hall of Fame and that Lindros' career was damaged by injuries and the crap around him. A self-insult, that's a first for Bobby Clarke, but I'm glad to see he's still doing the opposite of what everyone expects of him, like playing classy hockey with the Soviets or deciding never to acquire a real goaltender for his team.

Now some people will argue that stats are all that should matter when considering players for induction but I firmly believe that other attributes need to be looked at and if a player has no heart, has a tendency to whine until he gets his way or happens to rape little kittens in his spare time, it should be brought up when assessing his HOF case.

Niedermayer Continues Not Being A Distraction To His Team

2007-11-08T08:09:00.000-08:00

Word out of Anaheim is that Scott Niedermayer has begun skating with former teammates Travis Green and Jeff Friesen and could rejoin the Ducks by mid-December. The Ducks have been struggling without Niedermayer, ~~Dustin Penner~~ and Teemu Selanne. Niedermayer's agent is predictably downplaying the whole thing, saying that his client still hasn't made up his mind and probably won't for another month. Surprisingly, Scott Niedermayer didn't feel the need to call another news conference, like he did back in September, to make his non-announcement.

Barry Melrose Hates Newark

2007-11-07T09:52:00.000-08:00

ESPN hockey analyst and resident mullet spokesperson Barry Melrose is backpedaling this week after claiming just last week that the area around the Devils' new Prudential Center in Newark was unsafe. Said Melrose of the arena last week:

It looks great on the inside but don't go outside, especially if you got a wallet or anything else because the area around the building is awful.

Those comments prompted a predictably angry response from city officials. Police Director Garry McCarthy claimed that as of yesterday, not one visitor to the arena has been the victim of a crime. Then again, the arena has only been open for a week.

City Council President Mildred Crump also chimed in, saying that "security was so tight around the arena you would have thought George W. Bush was in town," which begs the obvious question of why security has to be so tight in that area if it's not a dangerous place?

It turns out that Barry Melrose was right for once and that, despite the disinformation campaign being spewed by Newark officials, if you hang around the Prudential Center long enough, you run the risk of losing your personal belongings. Since the beginning of the year, there have been 18 non-violent offenses (think theft) and three violent offenses, not counting the Devils' performance, in the streets surrounding the new arena (click the map for a larger view).

I guess that's what passes for a "safe place" in Newark.

Out With The New, In With The Old

2007-11-06T20:18:00.000-08:00

Shop.NHL.com has unveiled the vintage uniforms to be worn by the Pittsburgh Penguins and Buffalo Sabres for their outdoor tilt at Ralph Wilson Stadium on New Year's Day. One thing's for sure, the Pens and Sabres are going to be rocking some sweet duds at AMP Energy NHL Vintage Winter InsertBrandName2 Heritage Legacy Classic with these babies (click the image for a larger view).

The Big E Calls It Quits

2007-11-06T13:29:00.001-08:00

Eric Lindros plans to announce his retirement at a news conference Thursday in Ontario. It'll be an emotional affair for sure as Lindros makes his way to the podium, head down as always, to field questions about his tarnished legacy from dozens of Canadian journalists who are expected to descend upon London, hatchets in hand. The announcement will be made in conjunction with an event paying tribute to Dr. Peter Fowler, co-founder of the Fowler-Kennedy Sports Medicine Clinic in London, Ontario. Somehow, the "Puppet Show & Spinal Tap" marquee springs to mind.

Dr. Fowler, also known as "Mr. Sport Medicine," although "Dr. Fowler, Medicine Man" would've been so much more appropriate and in violation of multiple copyrights, has had ample opportunity to work on the various injuries sustained by Lindros during his playing days, and that's only counting groin, shoulder and knee injuries, not the obvious concussion-related problems.

In any case, the 34-year-old Lindros leaves the game after a 13-year career, having racked up 372 goals and 493 assists for a grand total of 865 points, one Hart trophy, six all-star game appearances and six near heart attacks for Bob Clarke. And concussions. A bunch of them. He also shares in the responsibility of having made the Quebec Nordiques/Colorado Avalanche a perennial powerhouse for the past 13 seasons, despite not having played a single game for them.

Sadly, Eric won't have the chance to follow in the footsteps of his similarly concussed brother Brett and handle hosting duties on "NHL: Be A Player" or any other low-rated "This Week In Baseball" NHL ripoff. No, The Big E is assuming the newly created position of NHLPA ombudsman later this month.

Your Official Tired-Of-Season-Previews Season Preview

2007-09-26T12:48:00.000-07:00

So apparently the new NHL season is starting soon. And by soon, we're talking this Saturday. Surely you were aware of that important nugget of information, given the league's massive marketing blitz which has so far consisted of updating NHL.com regularly.

Another indication that a new NHL season is upon us would be the endless list of season previews cropping up on the web. At this point, everyone and their mother has an NHL preview up. Frankly, most of them are pretty boring. Some teams will win, others will lose, some will surprise, others will disappoint and to the shock of no one, players switch teams!

Instead of trying to predict who'll finish where, we'll be concentrating on key observations or interesting story lines to follow for each of the league's 30 teams. We'll start with the Eastern conference before moving to the West and tackle each team following last year's regular season standings because why the hell not.

Eastern Conference

Buffalo Sabres: Every championship team has to lose to learn how to win. Unfortunately, that loosing thing is only supposed to include tough playoff series, not two of the team's best players. At least they can look forward to catching pneumonia in January against the Penguins.

New Jersey Devils: How will Brent Sutter react to his team not being good enough to make him look like the second coming of Toe Blake? How will TSN's crew react to not being able to felate Sutter for hours on end?

Atlanta Thrashers: Does anyone not expect GM Don Waddell to trade away the team's future and put up his house and dog as a guarantee that his team will make the postseason and ~~save his job~~ satisfy loyal fans?

Ottawa Senators: Now that the Senators have finally mastered the art of chocking when it counts, how soon will they go back to choking before it counts, namely, in the first or second round of the playoffs?

Pittsburgh Penguins: On paper, this team seems destined to win the Cup. If only real hockey was like the NHL 08 video game where that pesky "defense" thing just does not matter.

New York Rangers: It's said that most people learn from their mistakes. Glen Sather is not most people.

Tampa Bay Lightning: Vegas has set the over/under for John Tortorella punching out a reporter at December 22. Go with the under.

New York Islanders: Would anybody who follows this team really be surprised if Rick DiPietro's job title during the season went from "Goaltender" to "Goaltender, Assistant General Manager, Vice President of Hockey Operations?"

Toronto Maple Leafs: I've been reading some Leafs message boards and they're pretty sure the Cup is finally coming home. I could be wrong but by "home" they were probably referring to the Hockey Hall of Fame and not the ACC.

Montreal Canadiens: Carey Price, who is supposedly the next Patrick Roy is expected to see some action this year. By March, Habs fans and the local media will have decided that Price is overrated, washed up, not good enough, not clutch, too tall and not French enough, despite the kid leading the team in save % and GAA.

Carolina Hurricanes: Nobody's paying attention to them. Does that describe the rest of the league or their own fans? I'm not sure.

Florida Panthers: Florida has a second NHL team. Who knew?

Boston Bruins: By now Claude Julien has to be the most paranoid coach in the NHL, always getting tossed aside out of nowhere for someone supposedly better. Don't you get the feeling that he'll always be looking over his shoulder at the slightest sound of the footsteps? Somehow, that also describes their new starting goaltender. This can't be good.

Washington Capitals: There are 28 teams or rather 29 teams, now that Bill Wirtz is dead, that are just salivating, waiting for Alexander Ovechkin to finally go postal and boycott the Caps until he's traded.

Philadelphia Flyers: Throwing insane money at the wrong players seemed like something Bobby Clarke would do, not Paul Holmgren.

Western Conference

Detroit Red Wings: Which of the following applies to the Wings? Top 3 finish. Second round exit. Not enough toughness. If you picked all three, you win.

Anaheim Ducks: Can the good karma of last year's Cup run be offset by the bad karma of Todd Bertuzzi? If you're one of the 14 other teams in this conference, you're hoping so because that's the only way the Ducks aren't making it back to the finals, with or without Scott Niedermayer.

Vancouver Canucks: It only took the Canucks 12 years to find a good starting goalie. The search now begins for a good offense.

Nashville Predators: I think I missed the memo explaining it all but apparently the plan to make the Nashville Predators a viable NHL entity in Tennessee seemed to include gutting the team and threatening to move it to Canada.

San Jose Sharks: They should be better than they really are. If this blog had existed in 2006, I would've written the same thing for Sharks back then too. Come to think of it, 2005 as well.

Dallas Stars: They're just there, aren't they? A mediocre team that doesn't seem to be headed up or down.

Minnesota Wild: This is it! This is finally the year Jacques Lemaire opens up that offense and allows them to reach that next level. Can you feel it? No? You're not alone.

Calgary Flames: They hired the Tom Coughlin of the NHL in Mike Keenan. If you had to pick between Jarome Iginla, Alex Tanguay and Mikka Kiprusoff, which one of those players would you say is more likely to ask for a trade by November? I know you're thinking Alex Tanguay but he'll probably be busy sulking like he did under Bob Hartley. My money's on Kiprusoff.

Colorado Avalanche: Jose Theodore didn't make Habs fans forget about Patrick Roy in Montreal and he's sure as hell not about to make Avs fans forget about Patrick Roy in Colorado.

St. Louis Blues: While the Flames hired the Tom Coughlin of the NHL, the Blues brought in the Norv Turner of the NHL. There's a reason why Andy Murray is regarded as a veteran of the World Hockey Championships.

Columbus Blue Jackets: They have a real general manager for a change. Somehow, despite Doug MacLean, they still have Rick Nash, which is nice. Unfortunately, there's not much else to get excited about in Columbus.

Edmonton Oilers: Every team, GM and fan has to be rooting for the Oilers to finish last. Edmonton's fans would be rooting for that as well and the prospect of a high lottery pick if Kevin Lowe hadn't foolishly lost it, and their second-round pick, and their third-rounder for the second coming of Brad Isbister.

Chicago Blackhawks: Their owner just died. It's really too bad he killed this once proud franchise well before his passing.

Los Angeles Kings: They seem destined to once again miss the playoffs. On the bright side, Elisha Cuthbert is single so at least one of the players is gonna have a nice year.

Phoenix Coyotes: Things aren't going so well when people only show up to the games to ogle the coach.

Oh, They Will Come

2007-09-18T08:41:00.000-07:00

Tickets for the Sabres - Penguins outdoor tilt at Ralph Wilson Stadium went on sale this morning. Not surprisingly, they sold out in 40 minutes. It seems that Buffalo residents really are desperate for something to do on New Year's Day, or any day really, and the *deep breath* AMP Energy NHL Winter Classic *exhale* fits the bill (intended). Lucky "fans" who managed to grab some for the 74,000 seats being offered are already turning to eBay to hawk their loot. Tickets are going for no less than $300 on the auction site.

If You Build It, They Will Come

2007-09-17T12:50:00.000-07:00

Sitting in the cold for three hours on New Year's Day in Buffalo is one way to cure a hangover.

Despite the high risk of frostbite and hypothermia, the NHL has decided to go ahead with an outdoor game between the Sabres and Penguins at Ralph Wilson Stadium in Buffalo, at 1 p.m. on New Year's Day. The NHL finally made things official today by "officially" announcing the event, despite everyone knowing about it for a while now. They even released a shiny new mock up of Ralph Wilson Stadium that looks cool enough it almost removes the smell of suck left by the Bills that usually permeates the place.

Sadly, the league has gone back on its decision to call the game the Ice Bowl, chosing instead the more retro and ever so marketable AMP Energy NHL Winter Classic.

Paul Maurice Has A Dream

2007-09-14T07:44:00.000-07:00

Toronto Maple Leafs coach Paul Maurice raised eyebrows yesterday by claiming that the Leafs would make the playoffs and compete for the Stanley Cup (this season, if you were wondering), despite the team returning more or less the same group of players who finished out of the postseason last year. Said Maurice,

We'll make the playoffs and compete for the Stanley Cup. I'm comfortable with where our offensive game is. Our team, offensively, was good enough to win the Stanley Cup last season.

Unfortunately for Maurice, defense wins championships. GM John Ferguson did try to bolster the lineup during the off-season. Sadly, that endeavor included signing Mark Bell, a guy facing a six-month jail sentence who has subsequently been suspended for 15 games without pay and has entered the league's substance abuse program. Yep, the Leafs are just fine with Ferguson at the wheel, just as long as he doesn't decide to hand it to Bell.

An Ass Whooping Is An Ass Whooping

2007-09-12T20:18:00.000-07:00

Washington Capitals superstar and only star Alexander Ovechkin commented on the 2007 Super Series on Tuesday. Said Ovechkin, via Tsn:

You know, right now junior Canadian hockey is better. Everybody knows it. I think the Russians are learning. They watched how they worked here. It's good for us - the kids, the guys that played in this series now understand what they need to do to be better. Juniors are juniors and the national team is the national team. I think it would be interesting (if the national teams faced each other).

The man does have a point. Russia's real national team would certainly put up more of a fight in and international competition, even though it plays the same kind of style as its juniors. Ovechkin will even get the chance to defend his country's honor at the World Championships for the foreseeable future, with the way things are looking in Washington.

Did That Really Qualify As Super?

2007-09-10T13:34:00.000-07:00

Canada's best junior hockey players capped off an unbeaten performance against their Russian counterparts in an eight game affair dubbed "The 2007 Super Series" and meant to rekindle memories of the Summit Series of '72. Unfortunately, the series only served as a reminder of Russia's innate ability to play as delicate individuals. To make things worse for the Russians, their officials were the ones pushing hard for this series, supposedly because "a new generation of fans and players in both countries deserve to see such a great product." Not since the XFL has a product flopped so badly.

Canadian players meanwhile were impressive to the point of boring their own fans. Canada walked away with 7 wins and one tie in the eight game home and home with Russia. In total, Brent Sutter's squad outscored the Russians 39-13 and it got to the point where more than a few people had to wonder whether some sort of mercy rule could be implemented to cut the thing short. The series barely made a blip on the Canadian radar. Seriously, hockey in August and September? The NHL has a hard enough time getting its fans jazzed for the World Cup.

Niedermayer Decidedly Undecided

2007-09-06T16:38:00.000-07:00

Scott Niedermayer announced during a news conference today that he's still undecided about his future, which begs the question of why the Ducks haven't been holding daily news conferences since June if they find such an announcement newsworthy.

My preference would be to know right now and to start and be ready to go with the rest of the guys. It's not looking like that might happen, so we go to Plan B and the second best option, which is to come to a decision as quickly as possible. I don't want to drag this out any longer than I have to. The team has enough to worry about. [...] I guess it's definitely become harder than I envisioned. The last thing I want is to be a distraction to the team. Brian (Burke) has been very good in allowing me the time. I haven't been asked to make it official. Hopefully, once things get rolling, I'll get a better feeling if I want to be on the ice or not.

Nothing says distraction like holding a news conference to announce that you're not ready to announce anything. Niedermayer is expected to miss the start of training camp and possibly more until he's ready to commit to either playing or retiring. Then again, when you win four Stanley Cups and you're a former Norris and Conn Smythe Trophy winner, you don't need no stinking training camp.

Fashion Parade: Flames Unveil New Look

2007-09-06T08:39:00.000-07:00

The Calgary Flames are the latest team to use Reebok's new Edge jerseys ~~for a quick cash grab~~ as an opportunity to unveil a new look for the upcoming season. The new jerseys were on display earlier this week and they look good. Yes, I'm as shocked as you are. The colors look modern, yet the old Calgary crest remains to remind one of the team's history, while the laces add a soupçon of vintage to the ensemble.

In related news, the Montreal Canadiens also unveiled their new Edge jerseys this week. Thankfully, the team decided that change really is unnecessary (unless you want your fans to riot) for what has become an iconic hockey image.

Craig Conroy looking fabulous

Pierre Turgeon Carefully Hanging Up His Skates

2007-09-04T14:28:00.000-07:00

Pierre Turgeon has scheduled a press conference for Wednesday at which time he is expected to officially announce his retirement. As with all things Turgeon, the press conference should be a slow-moving, delicate and gentlemanly event, unless Dale Hunter shows up. In case you're wondering, Turgeon was still playing last year, although it was more of a blink and you'll miss it type affair, as he only suited up 17 times for the Colorado Avalanche because of groin and calf injuries. Pierre Turgeon leaves the game having amassed 1,327 points, including 515 goals, in 1,294 games with the Sabres, Islanders, Habs, Blues, Stars and Avs.

The Stars Win At Marketing

2007-09-03T09:40:00.000-07:00

If NHL 08 had a marketing rating for each team, the Dallas Stars would own first place by a mile. The Stars unveiled an ad campaign entitled "Come into the cold" meant to boost ticket sales for the upcoming season. The campaign features hilarious tongue in cheek billboards that take swipes at other pro sports. In total, 11 different billboards will go up around the Dallas area and most of them are pretty clever. The Stars may have forgotten how to win playoff games but nobody can accuse them of not knowing how to sell tickets.

Some of the proposed billboard ads:

The Russian Rocket Is Grounded

2007-09-01T08:14:00.000-07:00

Someone over at British Airways didn't get the memo on Pavel Bure who was never considered tough by any stretch of the imagination during his playing days. Regardless, Bure was forced to leave a British Airways flight from Moscow to London last October after the pilot somehow came to the conclusion that Bure was a soccer hooligan. In fairness to the pilot, Bure's ejection came a day after a bunch of hooligans disrupted another flight from Moscow to London. Needless to say, the Russian Rocket was upset with the decision and decided to sue the airline. On Friday, Bure was awarded 67,000 rubles by a Russian court. Unfortunately, that's only about $2,600, well short of the 20 million rubles ($780,000) Bure was looking for to compensate for mental and material damages suffered during the whole ordeal. Bure plans to appeal the decision, obviously.

This isn't Pavel Bure's first brush with lawsuits. In 2001, Bure succesfully sued The Weekly World eXile, a Moscow-based tabloid, for claiming that he broke up with tennis hottie Anna Kournikova after finding out that she had two vaginas. Ah the Russians, always amazing us with their creativity.

Things Keep Getting Worse For Theodore

2007-08-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

At this point in his career, Jose Theodore is in serious danger of capturing the Jim Carey Memorial Flameout Award. Theodore, who's scheduled to warm the bench to the tune of $6 million this season, will miss a portion of training camp after undergoing arthroscopic knee surgery Wednesday. Adrian Dater of The Denver Post is calling the surgery minor and believes that Theo will be back before the season starts. The guys over at RDS (in French) are saying that Theodore might miss the start of the regular season which would open the door for prospects Michael Wall, Trevor Cann and Tyler Weiman to steal his spot. Then again, RDS is Quebec's version of Canada's version of ESPN and they like to beat up on former Habs. In any case, Theodore has more time to rekindle that romance with Paris Hilton who apparently wants no part of the newly single Sean Avery.

The Lightning Have Some New Clothing To Sell

2007-08-30T11:51:00.000-07:00

The Lightning are ushering in the era of suck under the helm of Doug MacLean in appropriate fashion by unveiling new jerseys that also double as decent pajama tops, as far as one can tell from that picture.

The Lightning aren't the first franchise to introduce new jerseys this year and they certainly won't be the last as well. It seems that many teams are poised to unveil new unis to coincide with the introduction of Reebok's form-fitting garb this season. When you think about it, it's actually a pretty good excuse to use when trying to fleece your fan base and the Lightning aren't about to miss the gravy train, according to Ron Campbell, President of the Lightning and the St. Pete Times Forum.

We have taken the opportunity that comes with the Reebok uniform redesign to modernize the crest on our sweaters.

Looks like the Lightning went with "modern" as far as marketing speak goes. I'm surprised they didn't settle on the usual "edgy and aggressive" that teams seem to love.

Canucks Unveil New Jerseys

2007-08-29T17:13:00.000-07:00

More than 8,500 fans packed General Motors Place today to watch the Vancouver Canucks unveil their "new" jerseys. In lieu of actually coming up with a brand new and creative idea, the Canucks apparently thought that a mash-up of that weird Orca logo nobody likes and the colors of their first jersey would do the trick.

That's pretty underwhelming but not as underwhelming as the Ottawa Senators supposedly making their jersey look "meaner and more intense" by slightly tilting the Senator's eyebrows. That's worth $100 right there.

Regardless, let's go back to Vancouver with Canucks President and CEO Chris Zimmerman describing what the franchise was going for with the new sweater (Canadian men don't wear jerseys).

Our goal when we set out was to celebrate our heritage and to design a sweater that reflects our extraordinary city and province.

Well, they certainly achieved the second part of that goal by sticking a big "Vancouver" right on the front of the damn thing. As for celebrating the organization's heritage, why not go the full distance by adding a yellow and black V to the sweater and sticking the old school neon skate blade somewhere on the back while they're at it?

Who Said Buffalo Was A Boring Town?

2007-08-25T09:06:00.000-07:00

Ray Emery did, but that's not the point. According to reports, the Buffalo Sabres and Pittsburgh Penguins will kick off 2008 in style by playing an outdoor game at Ralph Wilson Stadium, on Jan. 1. Several NHL sources have confirmed the news, although the league won't officially announce the game until Sept. 10. NBC is set to broadcast the contest between the two high octane teams, as long as Dick Clark's New Year's Eve show doesn't run long.

The outdoor "Heritage Classic" (the NHL is in the business of building meaningless brands) , pitting the Oilers against the Habs in 2003, attracted over 52,000 people to Edmonton's Commonwealth Stadium, despite freezing temperatures and the distinct possibility of ending up like Jack Torrance in "The Shining." Things worked out for the better and the Canadiens even sold a boatload of toques thanks to Jose Theodore.

The league is tentatively calling the game the "Ice Bowl" this time and banking on people showing up to Buffalo's 72,000 seat stadium. The Bills aren't likely to book the place for the playoffs anyways.

Kovalev Involved In Motorcycle Accident

2007-08-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

Montreal Canadiens' forward Alex "don't call me Alexei" Kovalev walked away uninjured from a motorcycle accident in Grande Riviere, Quebec this past weekend. Kovalev has even agreed to pay for damages caused to the Harley he was riding which actually belongs to the town's mayor. That's a pretty honorable decision if you ask me, considering Kovalev has yet to pay for damages caused by his poor play to the Habs' playoff hopes last season.

The Russian forward apparently flew himself to the small town to meet a fan and in case you're wondering, yes, he does own a pilot's license and a small plane. Not only do the Canadiens allow him to ride a motorcycle but they also let him to fly his plane despite the Corey Lidle incident. That's one sick way to free up cap space, if you ask me.

Ilya Bryzgalov Knows How To Make Friends In Foreign Countries

2007-08-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

Anaheim Ducks' goalie Ilya Bryzgalov tried to rationalize Chris Pronger's decision to leave Edmonton after the Oilers' Cup run in 05-06. Needless to say, Bryzgalov shouldn't count on the support of many Canadian fans for the foreseeable future. It's still not clear whether Bryzgalov inhaled a helium balloon before the interview or was just trying to imitate what Pronger now sounds like ever since his wife put his balls in a vice-grip.

Bryzgalov has been described as a bit eccentric by hockey pundits. Then again, can you name a goalie who isn't slightly quirky? As an added bonus, here's Ilya describing his hobbies on NHL.com.

I like history. I've been reading philosophy books for maybe five years. I like philosophy. It helps me in life. I find a couple of answers to my questions. I like ancient Greek philosophers like Socrates and Plato.

This Will Not End Well

2007-08-20T10:29:00.000-07:00

Volatile goalie Ed Belfour, he of no current team, is reportedly close to signing with Leksands of the Swedish Elite League. At this point in time, it is difficult to predict which of the following two will be higher during the Swedish winter's never ending polar nights, Belfour's winning percentage or his blood-alcohol level.

Gary Bettman Respects History

2007-08-17T13:34:00.000-07:00

A day after former Canadiens' vice president and GM Sam Pollock passed away, Gary Bettman issued a statement calling the legendary figure "a giant" in the sport:

Sam Pollock's legacy extends far beyond the nine Stanley Cup championships the Canadiens won in his 14 years of leadership. His genius was seeing genius in others - players, coaches, future executives - before anyone else did, and his influence around the hockey world was unmatched. The game has lost a giant. We send condolences to his family and friends.

Then again, this is Gary Bettman we're talking about and from his perspective, the only non-giant he's ever met in hockey would have to be Theo Fleury.

As crazy as it seems, Bettman did get this one right. Pollock was indeed a savy hockey mind. He built championship teams in Montreal for a decade and a half and fleeced other GM's repeatedly.

There aren't many GM's in the modern era who would fall for what Pollock pulled in 70-71, except maybe Mike Milbury. In 1970, Pollock traded away Ernie Hicke and a first-round choice to Oakland for Francois Lacombe and Oakland's first-round pick in 71. Pollock was banking on Oakland finishing last in 1971 so he could select disco king Guy Lafleur with the first overall pick in the draft. When it looked like Los Angeles would finish behind Oakland in 1971, Pollock traded them Ralph Backstrom, in effect making them slightly better and nudging them past Oakland in the standings, thereby guaranteeing Montreal the first overall pick and Guy Lafleur in the draft.

Yep, Mike Milbury would've definitely fallen for that one.

Tocchet Faces The Music

2007-08-17T08:26:00.000-07:00

Today was sentencing day in the Rick Tocchet case. The Pheonix Coyotes assistant coach had been accused of running a gambling ring in which more than 1,000 bets valued $1.7 million were placed on college and pro football games. Tocchet was finally convicted of third-degree conspiracy to promote gambling and third-degree promoting gambling and sentenced this morning to two years probation concurrently on each count, which is frustrating because I had my money on three years probation at 3-1 odds.

For what it's worth, Tocchet will not serve jail time and as of right now, the Phoenix Coyotes and the NHL haven't decided whether he'll be back behind the bench for this upcoming season. Knowing Wayne Gretzky's penchant for loyalty and his influence on Gary Bettman, betting opens at even money. If things don't work out for Rick, he can always pitch a TV movie to networks with Bellick from Prison Break handling the lead role.

Bob Cole And Harry Neale To Leave HNIC. Oh, Baby!

2007-08-14T18:18:00.000-07:00

Hockey Night in Canada is making the move from old to... less old next season. Indeed, you might've heard the news that Edmonton Oilers assistant coach Craig Simpson was leaving his post to join CBC's juggernaut as an analyst. What you probably didn't hear about was the that Simpson would be teamed up with Jim Hughson, an all-around decent play-by-play man and the same guy who calls the action every year for EA Sports' buggy, glorified roster update. It looks like they're being groomed to take over the number one announcing duties for HNIC and can therefor look forward to a future filled with a half-empty Air Canada Centre and mind numbingly boring Leafs games.

The CBC has confirmed that HNIC's first unit of Bob Cole and Harry Neale will be spending more time on the bench. In essence, Cole and Neale are nearing their expiration date with the network and are expected to have their workload reduced in 2007-2008 and then drastically cut down for the 2008-2009 season, although Scott Moore, head honcho at CBC Sports, puts it a bit more delicately in a Globe and Mail article:

Bob [Cole] and Harry [Neale] and some of the other folks have been there a long time. It's not that they're not good. It's just age. It catches up to us all [...] He'd [Cole] like to do it as long as he's physically capable, but he realizes the brand has to regenerate itself. He's accepting and he's been really good about it. He's a class act.

Harry Neale has been given a one-year deal that calls for less games. Cole meanwhile signed a two-year transitional deal. Unfortunately for us, the man has already transitioned into the world of dementia so who really knows what this "transitional deal" is all about. Sadly, it looks as though the days of Brian Shanahan of the Detroit Red Wings firing a pucks at various Ottawa "Sens" goalies are over.

Guy Lafleur : Disco King

2007-08-13T12:59:00.000-07:00

From his association with Pfizer Canada's erectile dysfunction products to his role as spokesperson for Hairfax (think hair restoration), Guy Lafleur has never shied away from endorsing products that might make his legions of fans feel a bit uneasy. Yet, those ventures pale in comparison to the disco album The Flower decided to release in 1979. The premise was simple, mix hockey tips from Lafleur himself with disco music. CBC went way back into its vault to unearth this gem of a report on the album's release.

A bit of research even turned up an mp3 track from the album. The song is called "Scoring" and, from start to finish, it sounds like one big sexual double entendre certain to rape a few of your childhood memories with lyrics like these:

Once you have mastered a good shot, you must learn when to use it
It's important when you practice your shots to always shoot towards the target
Remember that backhand shots are more difficult because of the curved stick

[chorus]
Yes you can do it
You know you can do it
Baby all you gotta do is try

Staal Brothers To Face The Not-So-Long Arm Of The Law

2007-08-08T16:04:00.000-07:00

You might remember that Eric and Jordan Staal were arrested in Minnesota last month after Eric's bachelor party got a bit out of hand. You might also be wondering why two Canadians decided to hold a bachelor party in Minnesota of all places, even though neither of them plays for the Wild. It turns out that the brothers live in Thunder Bay, Ontario which is 2 hours away from the Lutsen Resort in Lutsen, Minnesota. There you go. In any case, the brothers Staal are facing the music today. Shockingly, that music took the form of a nursery rhyme as Eric and Jordan were offered plea deals. From TSN:

Paul Krepelka, the agent who represents both players, said the prosecutor in Cook County, Minn., offered to settle the case by having the Staals plead guilty to a petty misdemeanor for disorderly conduct. Charges of obstructing the legal process are to be dropped against both players. If they accept the deal, they will each be fined US$587 for disorderly conduct. Jordan Staal, 18, will also pay a US$150 fine for underage drinking.

Well, those fines are sure to put a dent in the Staals' pocketbooks. It seems that 10 out of the 14 young men arrested at the party have agreed to the deal. According to reports, they were all charged after being warned by police to tone down the loud music and the screaming at the resort they were staying at. Eventually, the men were kicked out, at which point they proceeded to harass motorists until police finally put an end to the evening.

Forsberg Back In The Saddle?

2007-08-08T09:24:00.002-07:00

It seems that Peter Forsberg laced up his skates for a charity hockey game in Finland last week (the news took a boat ride across the Atlantic) in which he scored 2 goals and added 3 assists. Foppa even took the time to tell reporters that his surgically repaired ankle felt fine during the game.

Forsberg, an unrestricted free agent, has told prospective suitors that he won't sign a contract until he knows for certain whether his ankle will allow him to make regular appearances on the abled list for whichever team he decides to play for. While some believe that Peter The ~~Gimp~~ Great is angling for one last big contract, it should be noted that the man isn't slumming it right now since he apparently owns a company that imports and markets Crocs shoes in Sweden, although beachwear can't really be that huge in a Nordic country, and his racehorse Adrian Chip (Bone Chip would've been more appropriate) just came in second in the $1.5 million Hambletonian race.

Lightning Fans To Hit The Absolut Bottle Early And Often

2007-08-07T09:26:00.000-07:00

According to reports, an ownership group called Absolute Hockey, led by Doug MacLean of Florida Panther and Columbus Blue Jacket ~~shame~~ fame, has agreed to purchase the Tampa Bay Lightning. Meanwhile, TSN reports that MacLean will serve as the team's Chairman and CEO until he eventually decides to replace GM Jay Feaster and coach John Tortorella with himself. The over/under for that is 1.5 seasons.

On the bright side, the Lightning are looking like easy pickings for Jim Balsillie in 3 to 4 seasons, once MacLean is done dismantling the team and destroying whatever fan base it once had.

You know, say what you will about Doug MacLean, but the man does sport the best looking glasses of any hockey executive.

NHL Confessions

2007-08-06T08:46:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder what NHL players, coaches and refs talk about during scrums? This clip provides the answer. Michel Bergeron really pulls off a convincing American accent.

Penner Flying The Coop

2007-08-02T11:58:00.000-07:00

The Anaheim Ducks have decided not to match the 5-year $21.25 million offer sheet from the Edmonton Oilers for the services of Dustin Penner. As a result, Penner is officially an Oiler for the next five seasons. Only time will tell if Penner has more success in Edmonton than former Duck turned Oiler Joffrey Lupul, or basically any duck trying to swim in an oil spill. Let's not feel too sorry for Anaheim since they do receive a first, second and third-round pick in the 2008 draft from Edmonton and if the current state of the Oilers is any indication, those picks should be pretty high.

The Latest On Dustin Penner

2007-08-02T08:27:00.001-07:00

Today is D-Day for the Ducks. GM Brian Burke has until 2:05 pm (ET) to inform the league of his decision. TSN's sources are reporting that Burke won't match the 5-year $21.25 million offer unless the Ducks can make a trade this morning to free up cap space.

Stay tuned to One-Timer for breaking news. Unfortunately, we don't cover shattering and/or collapsing news at this point in time.

The Rangers Might Be Bipolar

2007-08-01T10:39:00.000-07:00

The results of Sean Avery's arbitration hearing are in. An arbitrator has awarded the Rangers' center a one-year $1.9 million deal which the team quickly agreed to. Hopefully, Sean Avery isn't the sensitive type like Tommy Salo, who supposedly broke down and started crying during his arbitration hearing with the Islanders a few years ago. As is often the case with arbitration hearings, teams do not hesitate to lambaste their own players in an effort to get a more favorable ruling and the Rangers are no exception. The New York Post has the scoop on how the Rangers described Avery during the meeting:

[Avery is] a reasonably effective player as well as a detriment to the team. Avery is not a mature player. He plays, at times, like an individual rather than a member of a team. This is sometimes referred to as an inability to see the ice, and in Avery's case this seems to fit with his overall approach to the game.

Of course, after the ruling came down, the Rangers were all smiles and Glen Sather even had this to say about his player:

We are pleased to have Sean under contract and are looking forward to him returning with the same passion and enthusiasm he brought to our team last year. He is a terrific competitor, who we expect to play a significant role in a successful season.

Avery's feelings won't be hurt for too long once he receives a nice comforting hug from Elisha Cuthbert.

Looks Like The Ocho Has Room For Hockey After All

2007-07-31T13:23:00.001-07:00

Apparently, the NHL is close to returning to ESPN (well, ESPN 2 actually). Negotiations have been taking place since the week of July 16 and include Gary Bettman and executive vice president of content for ESPN John Skipper, according to a report published in Sports Business Journal:

Multiple sources described the conversations as preliminary. The two started talking the week of July 16 when the NHL approached ESPN about NBC’s nine-game regular-season schedule, plus the playoffs. NBC holds the rights to air the coming season as part of a revenue-sharing agreement, and the network holds a one-year option for the 2008-09 season. It’s not certain that NBC would exercise that option, given the sport’s tepid ratings on the network. Regular-season ratings on NBC averaged a 0.9 during the 2006-07 season and a 1.0 during the 2007-08 season over nine telecasts.

The key to this whole scenario is Versus, which holds cable exclusivity to all of the league’s games through 2011 and is paying the league a rights fee in excess of $70 million annually. Sources close to the Comcast-owned network, however, indicated that Versus would be willing to waive that clause, but only if it gets something in return — either a lower rights fee, a stronger schedule or a deal extension.

In other words, the NHL can look forward to having its playoff games bumped in favor stock cars turning left as opposed to horses doing the same. At this point in time though, any exposure is good exposure for the league and unless Gary Bettman can convince Todd Bertuzzi to sucker punch Sean Avery, this is as close as the NHL can get to being relevant once again.

Patrice Brisebois Has A Short Memory

2007-07-31T09:20:00.000-07:00

Lost in the news that the Habs signed Michael Ryder to a contract extension, was a little nugget concerning an offer made by the team to free agent and former Canadien, Patrice Brisebois. Indeed, Le Journal De Montreal is reporting that the Canadiens have offered Brisebois a one-year, $700,000 contract, which the defenseman is actually considering.

Brisebois, or Breeze-By as he is affectionately referred to around the league, has a bit of history with Montreal fans, having played there for 13 seasons, including the Stanley Cup run in 1993. Unfortunately, his stay in Montreal was more often that not characterized by vicious abuse from the hometown fans. Things got so bad that Brisebois started complaining of chest pains and doctors diagnosed him with stress-induced arrhythmia and prescribed a week's worth of rest. Instead of resting comfortably at home, Brisebois flew to Paris for a one-week European vacation, during the 2003 regular season, angering fans even more. Things reached a boiling point later that year when GM Bob Gainey came to the defense of his defenseman, calling the boo birds gutless on national TV.

It's too early to tell if Brisebois is showing early signs of Alzheimer's or if he simply has a special fetish for punishment and anguish. In any case, it'll make for an interesting year in Montreal, should he choose to sign with Les Habitants.

EDIT (Aug. 3rd): The Montreal Canadiens have officially signed Patrice Brisebois to a one-year deal worth $700,000 plus incentives which could net the defenseman an additional $700,000. It's still unclear whether making it through one week of the regular season without being booed by the hometown fans is part of the incentive package that Brisebois agreed to.

Do Not Mess With Ron Hextall

2007-07-28T12:35:00.000-07:00

The Kings were pretty busy this off-season, signing the likes of Michal Handzus, Ladislav Nagy, Tom Preissing and Kyle Calder. Still, you've got to wonder if their free agent signees are slightly worried of the possibility of getting the crap kicked out of them, should they fail to live up to assistant GM Ron Hextall's expectations. He is, after all, known for being a bit of a loose cannon, as evidenced by this clip. My favorite moment of this has to be Hextall chasing away Rob Brown who seems to want no part of the goalie.

Brian Burke Is Reacting Well To The News

2007-07-28T10:18:00.001-07:00

Suffice it to say that Brian Burke is taking the news that Kevin Lowe offered Dustin Penner a massive 5-year $21.25 million offer sheet pretty well. Or not. When asked about the recent developments, Burke was his usual outspoken self. To say that he's hopping mad would be an understatement. From TSN:

My issue here is this is the second time this year in my opinion Edmonton have offered a grossly inflated salary for a player, and it impacts on all 30 teams and I think it's an act of desperation by a general manager who is fighting to keep his job [...] I thought Kevin would have called me and told me it was coming. I thought that was gutless.

Needless to say, the Oilers and Ducks won't be doing much business with each other come next year's trading deadline. In any case, Burke hasn't decided whether he'll match the offer or not and won't decide before meeting with Ducks ownership tomorrow. Should the Ducks match the offer, Lowe might turn his attention to the Kings' Mike Cammalleri.

The NHL Can Do Scandals Almost As Well As Other Leagues

2007-07-27T08:57:00.000-07:00

According to reports, both Eric and Jordan Staal were arrested this past weekend, along with 12 other people after Eric Staal's bachelor party got out of hand. TSN has the horrible details of the incident:

Police began receiving complaints at 12:30 a.m. of approximately 20 people screaming, yelling, and playing loud music. The group was warned by police around 12:50 a.m. to quiet down ''or they may be removed from the property, issued citations/arrested, and/or deported from the country. After leaving the property, the group gathered on Highway 61 and began harassing passing motorists. At approximately 4 a.m. the suspects were placed under arrest for disorderly conduct and obstructing the legal process. Some of the suspects fled in to the nearby woods.

From a competitive standpoint, the NFL's got Michael Vick's dogfighting, Pacman Jones' murdering and the Cincinnati Bengals while the NBA has a referee accused of fixing games. The NHL is slowly getting there in terms of competing, counting this incident, the Rick Tocchet affair and Todd Bertuzzi cold-cocking Steve Moore. At least we've found one area where the NHL isn't lagging far behind other leagues.

Kevin Lowe is getting desperate

2007-07-26T16:46:00.000-07:00

After being forced to deal away Joffrey Lupul, Ladislav Smid, Anaheim's 2007 first-round draft pick, a conditional first-round draft pick (to included should the Ducks reach the Stanley Cup Finals between 2007 and 2010) and Anaheim's 2008 second-round draft pick, all for Chris Pronger, Ducks GM Brian Burke proceeded to call Kevin Lowe an ornery bastard on TSN. If we asked Burke his opinion of Lowe today, "expletive deleted" would probably be his answer.

Less than three weeks after signing Buffalo's Thomas Vanek to an offer sheet, only to have the offer matched by the Sabres, Kevin Lowe is back at it again. This time, he's targeting Anaheim's Dustin Penner. The Oilers have reportedly tendered a five year, $21.25 million offer sheet to Penner and since the Ducks' forward is a group II restricted free agent, Anaheim would receive a first, a second and a third-round draft choice from Edmonton if they don't match the Penner offer within seven days.

Yes, that's $4.25 million a year for a second-year forward with 101 games under his belt and a whopping 52 points. Take a minute to absorb that.

Complicating things for the Ducks is the fact that they're sitting just $2 million under the salary cap and Teemu Selanne still hasn't made a decision about his future.

If this summer has taught us anything, it's that, unlike Vito Corleone, Kevin Lowe is in the business of making offers that players and agents can evidently easily refuse. After all, West Edmonton Mall notwithstanding, there isn't much to see or to do in Edmonton, apart from planting one's seed into reporters who cover the team.

EDIT: The Ducks have refused to match the offer. As a result, Dustin Penner now belongs to the Edmonton Oilers. Click here for more details.

Mats Sundin is not really looking for a long term relationship

2007-06-14T09:22:00.000-07:00

The latest news out of Toronto is that Mats Sundin signed a 1-year $5.5 million deal to remain with the Leafs. According to reports, the Leafs were pushing for a multi-year deal. A multi-year salary cap crippling deal with an aging past his prime player - that seems to be John Ferguson's calling card.

Said Sundin,

"I just think I'm at the stage of my career where it feels good (to sign for one year). It gives me more pressure to perform, too."

One might say that, by signing a 1-year deal, Sundin actually saved the Leafs from themselves. If only more agents were mindful of Ferguson's lack of skills with numbers or management in general, the Leafs might have a shot at returning to the playoffs.

Quack, quack, quack, quack

2007-06-07T11:40:00.000-07:00

The Anaheim Ducks captured their first Stanley Cup last night, after 14 long years in the league. Has it really been 14 years? It seems like it was only yesterday that a bunch of pimple-faced troublemakers were being taught valuable life lessons by Emilio Estevez, not to mention sound hockey strategy like the Flying V and the knucklepuck.

As far as last night's game goes, the Sens looked like dead men walking out there, which is kind of how John Muckler looks every day. The Ducks kept up their strong play and capped off the series with a solid performance in which they only allowed 13 shots on goal. Truth be told, they only fired 18 of their own but Ray Emery was in a giving mood and even put an end to the streak of starting goalies with Martin Gerber as a backup winning the Conn Smythe. Emery just had an all around miserable night. Not only did he give up a horrible goal after a miscommunication with Chris Phillips, he also let the guy on the left blast one by him.

Since the Ducks hoisted the Cup, Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty will have to honor the bet he made with Gov. Schwarzenegger and send the Governator a 30-day supply of Tim Hortons coffee, a selection of Ontario wines and a Roots sweater. That loot doesn't really scream Ottawa. Then again, Ottawa's last export of note to the States was Alanis Morissette so things are looking up.

Ray Emery Will Knock You Out

2007-06-01T16:43:00.000-07:00

Lest you think that the Ray Emery vs. Andrew Peters fight pitting a goalie against a goon was a freak occurrence, this video serves as a reminder that Ottawa's goalie has been scoring unanimous victories over supposed enforcers ever since his days in the AHL.

Mike Milbury leaves the Island

2007-05-29T18:08:00.000-07:00

Mad Mike Milbury stepped down today from whatever the hell post he still occupied with the Islanders. Officially, he was serving as senior vice-president of sports properties since last summer. Unofficially, he orchestrated Rick DiPietro's horrendously long contract. As you would expect, team owner Charles Wang had nothing but good things to say about Milbury in a statement released today.

Mike played a major role in getting the Islanders back to the Stanley Cup Playoffs three years in a row. Before I purchased the franchise and provided Mike with the stability and resources he never had in his early tenure, the Islanders were out of the playoffs for almost a decade. Worse than that, most years they didn't even have a chance when the season started. It was Mike who made the aggressive moves that put the Islanders back on the NHL map.

Yes, Milbury did get his team back to the playoffs three years in the row, where they were promptly bounced out of the first round before the puck was even dropped. If you looked up the word "aggressive" in our dictionary, "clinically insane" would be the definition you'd find.

Milbury is of course known for his keen, some say blind, eye for talent and his trades read like a case study on how to obliterate one's team. In terms of managing a hockey team, Milbury's skill level is rivaled only by Bobby Clarke's brilliance. We thought we'd share with you three of Mike Milbury's worst trades.

The best of...the worst of Mike Milbury:

Traded to Vancouver: Todd Bertuzzi, Bryan McCabe, 3rd round pick 68th overall (Jarkko Ruutu)

For: Trevor Linden

Traded to Ottawa: Zdeno Chara, Bill Muckalt, second overall draft pick (Jason Spezza)
For: Alexei Yashin.

Mad Mike put his stamp of approval on the trade by handing Yashin the captaincy and signing him to a ludicrous 10-year $87.5 million contract.

Traded to Florida: Roberto Luongo and Olli Jokinen
For: Oleg Kvasha and Mark Parrish.

Milbury got rid of Roberto Luongo to draft Rick DiPietro with the first overall pick (which at the time always went to the worst team in the league). To make things worse, Dany Heatley was the consensus number 1 pick.

We'd love to know what kind racy of photographs Milbury has of Charles Wang.

Ducks take game 1

2007-05-28T19:59:00.000-07:00

The Anaheim Ducks got off to a good start in the finals with a 3-2 victory on Monday night. Despite badly outplaying the Senators at times during the game, the score remained tied until Travis Moen notched the game-winner with a little less than 3 minutes remaining.

Some analysts believe that Ottawa ran out of steam during the game and were rusty because of a 9 day layoff, which would seemingly explain why they seemed so thoroughly dominated at times. What they fail to realize is that Anaheim had close to a week off so both teams should have been rusty. The Ducks were simply the better team tonight.

Ottawa needs to regroup and avoid the costly turnovers that plagued them during game 1. They also need to chain Ray Emery to his net, although that might not be viewed as politically correct.

Watch the Senators vs. Ducks live on the Web

2007-05-28T18:45:00.000-07:00

Those without access to CBC or Versus can catch the finals live on the Web.

For viewers in Canada, simply click here.

For viewers from across the world:
1: Go to FreeProxy
2: Enter the following URL next to the "http://" text:
www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/stanleycup2007/streams/

Habs sign Markov

2007-05-28T15:41:00.000-07:00

The Montreal Canadiens have signed Andrei Markov to a four year $23 million contract, despite the defenseman having a face only a mother and apparently Bob Gainey can love. Markov, who made $2 million this past season, is considered to be the Habs' most complete blueliner.

People in Montreal are probably hoping that this signing turns out better for the Habs than Bob Gainey's previous forays into the signing of papers with numbers that resulted in massively inflated contracts for the likes of Sergei Samsonov, Alex Kovalev and Jose Theodore.

Gainey will now focus his attention on getting Sheldon Souray signed although that may prove to be difficult with Souray ready to command around $6 million per season on the open market.

Hockey analyst gets punk'd

2007-05-28T14:45:00.000-07:00

As much as we hate having anything to do with a word made famous by Ashton Kutcher, we must admit that hockey analyst Randy Robles simply got punk'd on the Versus studio show by Bill Clement and company. Robles was apparently caught off guard by a question on the Anaheim Ducks after being told to prepare something on the Red Wings instead. While we feel bad for Robles, he did have it coming after showing up to tape his segment wearing one of Frank Costanza's cruise shirts.

Everyone in the studio seemed to find the prank hilarious, except Brian Engblom's mullet toupee which failed to budge and at this point appears to be superglued to his cranium.

The Senators wouldn't mind a repeat performance

2007-05-27T10:56:00.000-07:00

We're not sure what getting "Jiggy" with it actually entails but we're pretty certain that the curl and hurl technique is not what Will Smith had in mind when he ~~hired a team of songwriters to pen a hit single~~ wrote the song. Yes, that's really J.S. Giguere losing his lunch while playing for the Hamburg Freezers of the German hockey league (DEL) during the lockout season. As far as we can tell, Giguere stayed in the game and the opposition wisely decided not to crash the crease for the remainder of the period.

Obviously, if something similar were to happen during the finals, the Ducks could always turn to solid backup Ilya Bryzgalov. As for the Senators, they've got Martin Gerber available to match Giguere in the organic output department, if his meltdown prior to the first game of last year's playoffs in Carolina is any indication. Fun fact: "gerber" actually means "to vomit" in French.

EA simulates Ducks vs. Senators

2007-05-26T13:15:00.001-07:00

Electronic Arts recently used its NHL 07 video game, otherwise known as NHL Roster Update 2007, to simulate the result of the Stanley Cup finals pitting the Ottawa Senators against the Anaheim ~~Mighty~~ Ducks.

According to EA, the Sens won the Cup in 6 games, on the strength of get this, Ray Emery's terrific goaltending. Well, there goes any sense of realism the simulation had.

The teams split the first two games in Anaheim, with the Ducks taking the first one 2-0 and Ottawa stealing the second 2-1. The Senators then took a stranglehold on the series by winning both games in Ottawa (3-2 and 3-1). Anaheim fought back in game 5 (4-2 Ducks' win) only to delay the inevitable as the Senators captured the Cup on home ice in game 6.

Unfortunately, EA failed to disclose who won the Conn Smythe trophy (all signs point to Emery, who'll probably melt down the trophy to make custom spinner rims for his Hummer). There was also no mention of the number of impossible goals that were scored during the last minute of play (we're setting the over/under at 18) or how many weak shots inexplicably ping ponged over the goalies to find themselves in the back of the net.

Tocchet pleads guilty

2007-05-25T08:53:00.000-07:00

Rick Tocchet pleaded guilty on Friday to running a gambling ring or more precisely to conspiracy to promote gambling and promoting gambling. Chances are that Tocchet won't face any jail time since the offense doesn't carry a jail sentence for first-time offenders. Surprisingly, Tocchet failed to enter any plea concerning the charge of distracting Team Canada at the Torino Olympics and word is that Janet Gretzky had money on a not guilty plea. Wayne's been giving her bad advice again. Oh wait, Wayne knew nothing about the whole thing.... Our bad.

Brian Leetch Retires

2007-05-24T11:15:00.000-07:00

Brian Leetch announced on Thursday that he was officially retiring from the NHL, which surprises us since we were convinced that he had already retired at the end of last season. It appears that Leetch sat out the year when no team was willing to meet his asking price, not even the Leafs and Coyotes where as a rule 95% of all over the hill players collect social security paychecks from overwhelmed GM's.

We've always felt bad for Leetch when he was overshadowed by Mark Messier in 1994 as the Rangers hoisted the Cup, despite winning the Conn Smythe trophy as playoff MVP. Nevertheless, Leetch's stats were impressive for a defenseman and will definitely earn him a spot in the Hall of Fame, where he'll be overshadowed by Messier for all eternity.

Senators vs. Ducks - Gary Bettman must be ecstatic

2007-05-22T21:19:00.000-07:00

It's official, Anaheim's 4-3 victory over Detroit on Tuesday night sends them to the Stanley Cup finals where they'll meat the Ottawa Senators in what could be considered a pretty even match up. On one hand, the Ducks have the physical dimension that has historically given Sens teams trouble during past playoff years. On the other hand, if a brawl erupts, Ray Emery has shown that he'll throw down with anybody. In any case, it'll be a tight series.

The schedule for this year's final reads as follows, according to the NHL:

2007 STANLEY CUP FINAL SCHEDULE
(all start times 8 p.m., ET)

Game 1 Monday, May 28
Game 2 Wednesday, May 30

Game 3 Saturday, June 2

Game 4 Monday, June 4
*Game 5 Wednesday, June 6
*Game 6 Saturday, June 9
*Game 7 Monday, June 11

*if necessary

Versus will carry games 1 and 2 in the States with NBC taking over for the remainder of the series, including the two Saturday night games. Hopefully NBC's post-game coverage of horses running around an oval in the Belmont should be over by 8 p.m. on June 9th.

Up North, Canadians will be treated to the CBC's Bob Cole and Harry Neale failing to follow the puck and pretty much confusing or mispronouncing the names of half the players involved. If the Sens do pull it out, it'll be interesting to hear Cole's reaction as he intentionally soils his diaper in frustration.

While the series may be considered a ratings nightmare for the NHL, it does present some interesting subplots:

Will Chris Pronger impregnate another Canadian reporter to alleviate the boredom that comes from having to spend a night in Ottawa?
How many games will Ray Emery intentionally lose in an effort to spend more time clubbing in LA?
How long will Harry Neale go before confusing Scott and Rob Niedermayer for the first time?
Do the Sens have an answer for the Flying V and the knucklepuck?
If the Sens do win, will the parade be moved to a city with enough fans and large enough streets to warrant one like Montreal or Toronto?
If the Ducks win, will there even be a parade?

We're just 6 days away from getting some of those answers.

Does momentum heading into the playoffs really matter?

2007-04-12T17:20:00.000-07:00

After listening to TSN's analysts claim that Nashville's playoffs hopes were slim following the Preds' late-season slump, I couldn't help but wonder if a team's play heading into the playoffs has an impact on its performance during the postseason . I've also often heard the argument of teams having to peak at the right time to win a championship, so I decided to take a look at the Cup finalists for the past four seasons to see if their play heading into the playoffs had any impact on them making it to the finals.

How would I qualify momentum heading into the playoffs? Looking at a team's performance over the last 10 games of the regular season could be a good indicator. What would be considered momentum? I think that we can all agree that a "hot" team should be playing well over .500 hockey.

Here's a look at what the finalists during the past 4 seasons did during their last 10 games of the regular season:

2005-2006: Carolina: 5-3-2 (12 out of 20 points) , Edmonton: 5-4-1 (10 out of 20 points)
2003-2004: Tampa Bay: 5-4-0-1 (11 out of 20 points), Calgary: 6-4-0 (12 out of 20 points)
2002-2003: New Jersey Devils: 5-0-4-1 (15 out of 20 points), Anaheim Ducks: 5-2-1-2 (13 out of 20 points)
2001-2002: Carolina Hurricanes: 5-3-2-0 (12 out of 20 points), Detroit Red Wings: 1-3-4-2 (8 out of 20 points)

If anything, apart from the Devils and Ducks in 2002-2003, the stats show that recent Cup finalists had virtually no momentum heading into the playoffs and finished the regular season playing around .500 hockey with ties that could've gone either way. Hell, the Wings only won one of their last ten games and still drank from Lord Stanley's Cup. In essence, we've learned that how a team does in the playoffs shouldn't be determined by how they finished the regular season.

2007 NHL Playoffs - Night 1

2007-04-12T10:03:00.000-07:00

The playoffs are finally here. Isn't it refreshing? The first night of action is in the books, so let's take a look at what we've learned, as far last night's games are concerned.

Ottawa vs. Pittsburgh

It looks like the Sens plan to bring it this year, as opposed to their usual disappearing act. Ray Emery got off to a decent start in his quest to establish himself not only as the most padded pugilist in history but also as one of top goalies in the league. Hats off to Chris Neil for throwing his weight around and contributing on the score sheet. The Sens need to continue to show that mean streak they displayed last night to go far during the playoffs.

Meanwhile, the Penguins are young and it showed last night. They had that dear in the headlights look throughout the game. This is a learning experience for guys like Crosby, Staal, Malkin and Fleury and they'll come out of it much more prepared for next season when they'll make a bigger run. Plus, Crosby will have mastered new dives and bewildered expressions by then. The Pens aren't done yet. They might steal a game or two and even advance if the Sens back off (something Ottawa has a nasty habit of doing during springtime) but this year isn't about the Cup for them, it's about growing and they're well on their way.

Nashville vs. San Jose

On the one hand, the Preds surprised a lot of people last night by coming back from a two goal deficit in the third period. To mount that sort of a comeback, including the game tying goal with 50 seconds left, shows heart. On the other hand, they still lost the game. A double OT loss is never very easy to recover from, especially after battling so hard to send it to an extra frame. We'll see what the Preds are really made of in Game 2.

The Sharks took a nasty blow when Jonathan Cheechoo went down following a controversial hit, or missed hit by Scott Hartnell. I still contend that Hartnell was merely inviting Jonathan Cheechoo to sit on his knee and take a quick break. The Sharks are pretty deep though and they'll be able to turn to their depth to replace Cheechoo who's been a disappointment this year after his breakout performance last season. These are two very evenly matched teams and the series should be a long and exciting one.

Vancouver vs. Dallas

Speaking of heartbreaking OT losses, we've had our first marathon of the playoffs with last night's game between these two clocking in at almost 8 periods of play. If anything, the Stars are lucky that this kind of a loss came during the first game. They still have time to pick themselves up and take this series. Both of these teams have a knack for choking during the first round, which means that one of them will overcome that weakness by default.

Anaheim vs. Minnesota

I have nothing against the Wild, but the faster they're gone, the more chances we'll have of watching good wide-open hockey. The same goes for New Jersey. When you're not a fan of either team playing, you just root for a good game or a massive brawl. J. S. Giguere didn't play. He's been taking time to be with his wife and son after the newborn boy was diagnosed with a condition leaving him blind in one eye. Randy Carlyle made the decision not to throw Giggy out there after the roller coaster of emotions that he's been through. It was a wise move, considering that the Ducks have Ilya Bryzgalov waiting in the wings. It's funny but I don't hear any Ducks fans complaining today about Brian Burke not trading away Bryzgalov earlier during the season. This could be the Ducks' year although they better go for it all since there's no telling when Chris Pronger's wife'll demand a trade, especially considering the amount of beauties roaming the streets of California.

Tonight should be exciting with 4 games on tap:

Sabres vs. Islanders
Devils vs. Lightning
Thrashers vs. Rangers
Red Wings vs. Flames

Panic in Long Island?

2007-04-11T15:25:00.000-07:00

As you probably know, the New York Islanders signed goalie Rick DiPietro to an unheard of 15-year contract worth $67.5M during the offseason, which is pretty much taking the 'goalie of the future' expression to a whole other level. Now, his contract was ridiculous for a few reasons:

Up until signing the contract, DiPietro had never lived up to his billing as a number 1 overall draft pick. Hell, he wasn't even among the best starting goalies in the league.
By signing DiPietro to a 15-year contract, the Isles made him virtually untradeable.
If something should happen, like an injury or a decrease in performance, the Islanders are still on the hook for the remainder of his contract.

As luck would have it, DiPietro managed to suffer not one but two concussions in the span of 12 days. Now unlike a broken leg that takes a set amount of time to recover from, there's no real timetable for concussions and they can either heal relatively quickly or end someone's career (see: Keith Primeau).

DiPietro has started skating but still doesn't have the green light from doctors. Speaking of which, the Islanders' team doctor is Elliot Pellman, the same physician who quit as head of the NFL's research committee on concussions because of doubts about his qualifications. That's a tight ship they're running over in Long Island.

If DiPietro should happen to return this or next season, there are no guarantees as to how long he'll be able to perform and how he'll perform. I'm thinking that the repeated shots to the cranium won't help either with his past history of concussions. I get the idea of securing the rights to a franchise goalie, but couldn't the Isles have handed him a 7-year deal or even a 9-year deal instead of that massively irrational 15-year contract?

Before blaming the whole situation on GM Garth Snow who made the deal, I'd like to point out that his predecessor Neil Smith, who was fired last year just weeks after being hired, has called the DiPietro deal a bad one for the team. I'm also pretty sure that before resigning, Mike Milbury had floated the idea of signing DiPietro to that kind of deal. That would mean that Milbury is still running the show and Garth Snow is his figurehead. With Mad Mike still in charge, the Isles have nowhere to go but down.

About

2007-04-09T22:23:00.000-07:00

One-Timer aims to bring you unique views on the world of hockey.

Check out the main page for outspoken and unique analysis on the NHL.
Head over to the 'Latest News' section for constantly updated hockey news.
Don't forget to have a look at the 'Live Blogging' section where you'll find our own brand of live hockey commentary from games as they unfold live.

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Latest News

2007-04-09T21:38:00.000-07:00

The latest from NHL (updated daily):

Live Blogging

2007-04-09T20:35:00.000-07:00

Oftentimes during the regular season and playoffs we'll decide to do Live Blogging for select games. What does Live Blogging mean? It means that we'll be giving you our thoughts on a game we're watching as the game unfolds on live TV.

Teams

2007-04-09T19:46:00.000-07:00

The 'Teams' page allows you to look at all of our posts concerning the team of your choice. Simply click on the team you're interested in.

EASTERN CONFERENCE

Atlantic
New Jersey Devils
New York Islanders
New York Rangers
Philadelphia Flyers
Pittsburgh Penguins

Northeast
Boston Bruins
Buffalo Sabres
Montreal Canadiens
Ottawa Senators
Toronto Maple Leafs

Southeast
Atlanta Thrashers
Carolina Hurricanes
Florida Panthers
Tampa Bay Lightning
Washington Capitals

WESTERN CONFERENCE

Central
Chicago Blackhawks
Columbus Blue Jackets
Detroit Red Wings
Nashville Predators
St. Louis Blues

Northwest
Calgary Flames
Colorado Avalanche
Edmonton Oilers
Minnesota Wild
Vancouver Canucks

Pacific
Anaheim Ducks
Dallas Stars
Los Angeles Kings
Phoenix Coyotes
San Jose Sharks